In the second half of 2024, why should we remain optimistic?

In the course of human evolution, a brain alert to potential dangers was crucial for survival. Imagine a primitive man in the forest; if he assumed that a rustling sound in the distance was just harmless wind, he might lose his life by overlooking a lurking predator. But if he assumed it was a dangerous signal and stayed away, he could potentially save his life. As for why the feeling of happiness is not easily achieved in humans, the answer lies in our brain’s tendency to focus on negative, adverse information. After all, overlooking a beautiful flower might only make one miss some pleasure, but ignoring a sign of danger could lead to a life-threatening situation. From the perspective of biological evolution, those who survived were individuals with a stronger ability to process negative information in their brains.

Roy Baumeister analyzed social psychology phenomena in his works, noting the brain’s processing advantage for negative information leads to bad impressions being more easily formed than good ones. For example, you might have a pleasant conversation with someone for a long time, accumulating a good impression, but if that person exhibits unhygienic behavior during a goodbye handshake, the positive regard built up before may vanish instantly.

In interpersonal relationships, negative behavior has a greater impact than positive behavior, which can be seen from the so-called The Losada ratio—the golden ratio of communication (5:1). A healthy communication pattern is a 5 to 1 ratio of positive comments to negative comments, which avoids being overly optimistic to the point of seeming fake, but also not too negative to damage the relationship. As Tolstoy said: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” and these misfortunes often stem from trivial details.

Psychologist Daniel Kahneman revealed the economic aspects behind psychology, namely the asymmetry of the value equation. Losing 50 dollars might bother you for a long time, while the joy of finding 50 dollars is fleeting. This shows that people tend to remember failures and losses and quickly forget successes and gains, which is also the psychological basis for the proverb “slurping while eating meat, cursing mother when putting down the bowl.”

Defensive pessimism is a psychological protection mechanism, explaining why the human brain easily forms negative biases, which is also the origin of many negative psychological states voiced by modern people. In this mindset, even if we harbor positive desires like success, wealth, and happiness, we are restrained by negative thinking due to the fear of failure. Under social pressures of evaluation, face, and dignity, people often come up with preemptive excuses for potential failure, which ultimately become the reasons for failure. For instance, poor performance in an important match is likely to be due to psychological issues leading to physical problems.

Why do some people fear failure so much that they seek excuses? Often it is because of their intense longing for success and their extreme fear of failure. For example, in Jin Yong’s classic novel “The Legend of the Condor Heroes”, the character Western Venom Ouyang Feng is such an example. He avoids interaction with others, always rejecting and attacking first, with the real reason behind his behavior being his fear of others’ rejection.

A more severe situation is termed “self-handicapping,” which means people create barriers for themselves to avoid potential failure. For example, some people may deliberately claim they feel unwell or stay up all night watching movies before an exam, creating excuses for potential future failures. This negative psychological tendency actually acts as a defense mechanism.

Yet, a genuinely positive attitude is a reflection of rationality. Many misfortunes do not originate from the outside world but from within us. Whether it’s an unpleasant smell, an ugly image, or hurtful words, these painful sensations, although insignificant, strongly affect us due to our emotional reactions. The brain’s processing trait urges us easily towards negativity.

Maintaining an optimistic attitude is crucial for happiness. Leibniz viewed optimism as an innate, rational cognitive approach. Only by using our rationality to understand the world comprehensively, systematically, and scientifically, can we balance the brain’s natural tendency to process negative information.

Just as Ah Q’s carefree attitude is not true happiness, happiness requires our conscious pursuit. Evolutionary psychology suggests that negative biases help with survival, while positive psychology reveals that positive reactions make our lives better. The scientific philosopher Karl Popper considered it a moral duty of the social elite to be positive. In a society rife with selfishness, aggression, depression, and negative emotions, it is the responsibility of us who are still doing relatively well to actively pursue and spread positivity. Otherwise, society is prone to degeneration and decline.

Those of us who love life and champion reading have a responsibility to display a positive attitude because the hope of society is entrusted in this. This is even more the case when facing challenges and hardships. Mr. Fei Xiaotong, former president of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, once mentioned that the cultural inheritance of Chinese society is undertaken by the scholar-official class. These scholar-officials, who possess and disseminate Chinese culture, are not only to cherish the culture itself but also to set an example by living out an exemplary life. When we act positively and live happily, we must vividly demonstrate this state, rather than letting the reality’s undercurrents warp our state of living, conforming to the negative emotions popular on the internet. Only by living a genuinely splendid life can we inspire others to follow and emulate, thereby spreading positive energy.

The Key to Finding Happiness

1. Fear Management, Rediscovering the Power of Happiness

The Relationship Between Fear Management and Positive Psychology

In 1986, three American psychologists, Greenberg, Solomon, and Pyszczynski, proposed the theory of terror management, undoubtedly one of the early achievements in the field of positive psychology. They found that the extreme anxiety faced by humanity in common is the fear of death, which is almost overlooked by everyone. Humans are distinct from other creatures; we are aware of life’s finiteness, thus generating tension and anxiety between the desire to survive and the inevitability of death. Many of the anxieties and troubles in modern society are fundamentally related to this. Terror management theory is dedicated to exploring coping strategies, and we will share several methods to help you regain a feeling of happiness.

Means of Fear Management

• Firstly, there’s escape. Diverting one’s gaze, staying away from the source of anxiety, and self-deceivingly believing that all is well. This “Ah Q spirit” may dissipate discomfort momentarily, but the problem remains.
• Next is proximal defense mechanisms. By mental construction, problems are minimized, or past fantasies are used to replace real solutions. Unfortunately, such self-deception only leads to greater psychological trauma.
• Lastly, by immersing oneself in work or other activities to distract from anxiety, such as drowning sorrows in alcohol, not realizing that the more one drinks, the deeper the sorrow. Desperately thinking about other things also serves as an escape. Sadly, such practices cannot cure the malaise within; instead, they may worsen the situation.

Fourth, Intimate Relationships: By relying on the power of human love and the strength to build relationships, we can overcome anxiety and fear, and thus achieve happiness. Harvard University conducted a long-term study called “The Study of Adult Development,” which has continued for over 85 years. It initially focused on the development of Harvard students from their youth to adulthood, while also observing a comparable number of children from poor families in Boston.

The intention of the researchers was to explore the impact of socio-economic background and class awareness on the sense of happiness in life. The majority of the Harvard freshmen came from capitalist families, while the children from Boston were mostly from the ordinary working class. Despite Harvard students becoming public leaders and judges, including President Kennedy, there were also eminent judges among the Boston children, albeit without a president among them. This shows that class origin is not the sole determinant of personal achievement and happiness. Children from wealthy backgrounds are not always happy, and children who grow up in poverty have the opportunity to succeed and attain happiness as well.

After 85 years of research, Harvard found that the most important factor determining one’s lifelong happiness is intimate relationships. Those born into wealthy families but indulge in various complicated relationships often have unstable homes and high divorce rates, and are not happy and may even affect life expectancy. Conversely, individuals who enjoy the experience of love and establish stable intimate relationships despite poverty usually lead more satisfying lives. Today, we enjoy the pleasure of contemplation together, the beauty of reading and happiness, which may be an excellent way to extend a healthy lifespan.

The unique value and importance of intimate relationships are also underlain by a scientific reason. When people feel close relationships with others, the brain easily releases a neurochemical called oxytocin. Oxytocin makes us feel warmth throughout our bodies, tightness in our throats, and tears flowing; it can effectively alleviate and inhibit our anxiety.

Fifth, Self-esteem: Self-esteem refers to our self-evaluation of our sense of usefulness and our sense of ability. The stability of self-esteem has a more profound impact on us compared to its high or low level. In “Journey to the West,” Sha Wujing, despite not being highly intelligent, leads a happy life due to his hard-working and diligent nature. In contrast, Zhu Bajie’s self-esteem is very unstable, sometimes very high, sometimes low, and this fluctuating self-esteem makes him easily affected by external emotions and therefore more vulnerable.

Finding a Sense of Meaning in Life: The loss of a sense of meaning constitutes a common problem in contemporary society. Many new students from Tsinghua and Peking University, from childhood to adulthood, have been immersed in the sense of meaning in the pursuit of goals. However, once they achieve their goal—entering the ideal university—their previous sense of meaning vanishes. In this state, people are likely to fall into a mental predicament called “nihilism.”

Many adults are aware that not all dreams can be realized. When we finally obtain what we have long pursued, we often realize that the attainment is not as wonderful as imagined, but merely ordinary. Religious faith—whether in God, in reverence for deities, in the certainty of the soul, or in the expectation of the afterlife—starts to weaken. Therefore, Nietzsche proclaimed “God is dead,” implying that although people still exist, they have lost the meaning of life. Today, many people are facing the confusion in 2023: “What exactly is the motive, reason, and goal of existence?” It is this sense of nothingness that becomes an important source of unhappiness.

French philosopher Albert Camus proposed that when faced with life’s absurdities, people have several choices of suicide: a meaningless physical suicide, spiritual escape. However, the third suicidal attitude is to persistently struggle against the absurd. Life indeed has many absurd aspects, and people may fight their entire lives without accomplishing anything, like a failed investment, where anger and pain from desires, struggles, and failures become the norm. In this case, how should we maintain a positive and optimistic attitude?

Camus believes that life inherently has its meaning. He cites the example of Sisyphus from Greek mythology: Sisyphus is a cursed strongman whose punishment is to ceaselessly push a huge boulder to the mountaintop, only to have it roll down again, forcing him to start over. This task, seemingly meaningless repetitive labor in the eyes of the mundane world, is where Camus sees the revelation of life’s meaning—when Sisyphus stands at the mountaintop, watching the hard-pushed stone roll down again, he finds the purpose of life, which is to go down and push the stone up once more. Does this define the purpose of living? Camus believes the meaning of life is not preordained but discovered in the process of living.

“Existence precedes essence,” this famous saying by Sartre reveals a simple wisdom of life: living in itself is meaningful. There’s no need to excessively question the meaning of life; instead, we should focus on living each day well, which is the best path to finding the true essence of life. Romain Rolland said that the only true heroism in the world is to still love life after seeing its true nature. Although life may be far from perfect, by fully engaging in it, we can find the true essence of living. Positive psychology indicates that the meaning of life is not only found in philosophical or religious discussions, such as “Why live?” “What to pursue?” “What is the ultimate value of the future?” but is found by experiencing every moment of life. Understanding the origins of life or setting future goals is certainly important, but recognizing how to live a meaningful life is the core.

Therefore, humanity should not frequently worry about the arrival of disasters; instead, it should embrace an attitude of openness, courage, and exploration. If we are always fearful of faults, it will be difficult for our society to nurture those individuals who are willing to take risks, innovate, and assume responsibility. Positivity is not just about being carefree; it should also be an action tendency that encourages people to personally practice an open attitude.

Shifting from a passive to an active attitude is crucial. For a long time, we have been accustomed to waiting for others’ care, attention, and protection. But we cannot always rely on healthcare workers to fight epidemics; sometimes we need to actively adapt and create. Likewise, we cannot always rely on the police to maintain social justice or expect heroes to promote justice and punish the wicked. When evil arises, we ourselves must also have the courage to stand up and assume the mission of “justice.” As Mr. Li Dazhao said: “With iron shoulders, carry justice,” we should bravely take on our responsibilities, shifting from a passive, protected mindset to actively creating and pursuing our dreams and goals.

Our perspective also needs to shift from the past to the future. For years, we’ve been engrossed in history, and now we must look forward with more aspiration, dreaming of the year 2035, 2050, and the realization of the Chinese Dream. The oppression and humiliation of past imperialism should not be remembered with resentment. The social mentality needs to develop in a more positive direction, which as a positive psychologist, I recognize as an important issue. Only with positivity can we truly solve the difficult problems we face in life.

The key to pursuing happiness lies in having four kinds of experiences. My teacher, Professor Christopher Peterson, who is also one of the founders of positive psychology, mentioned his findings in his book “Pursuing the Good Life”. He pointed out that a truly fulfilling life is not determined by money, education, status, or appearance. He identified four key experiences that make up a fulfilling life. First, living with a sense of love is crucial, and this expression of love is not limited to the emotional exchanges in romantic relationships but is about seeking a selfless, broad affection among humanity. This love includes love for one’s fellow human beings, passion for culture, enjoyment of reading, enthusiasm for music, and dedication to work; it is these that lay the foundation for a truly good life. We must immerse ourselves in such a sense of love and avoid falling into hatred and anger. Studies show that negative emotions like resentment and anxiety may prompt the brain to produce certain enzymes that interfere with the frontal lobe’s control over the body. This is why anger can make one lose their reason, as that chemical substance deprives us of our wisdom.

Happiness stays far from hate, embracing a full sense of love. If you find this hard to attain, try a simple experiment: voluntarily give a hug to your loved ones—your children, partner, or parents. In this warm gesture, you may feel your body’s warmth, a hoarse voice, even tears welling up. This is the positive release of the love chemical—oxytocin—in your body. Congratulations, you are experiencing the power of love. In the year 2024, our journey is the stars and the sea, and our first step is to nurture an embrace of great love.

Cultivating a feeling of happiness is not an elusive mystery, but a concrete and tangible experience of joy. Our brains surge with positive neurochemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins, and serotonin, giving us meaningful, profound feelings. “Flow,” or “flourishing flow,” is a description of that ultimate state of happiness. When we are fully engaged in an activity of great value and meaning, we can reach such an immersive, self-forgetting state of pleasure. Let us immerse more in this “flow” of happiness in the New Year, feeling those special moments of joy and happiness.

Cultivating a sense of being needed—Research shows that people’s happiness greatly increases when they feel needed by others, and can help and serve them. Just as Lei Feng recorded his good deeds in his diary, he felt a sense of satisfaction from being needed. Finding one’s value in the happiness of others and feeling useful is a very precious sensation. A widely circulated remark mentions that, “Married men live seven and a half years longer than single men.” This actually refers to the role played by a married person in the life of another, increasing the sense of being needed. This is not discrimination against singles but emphasizes that marriage itself is not a guarantee of happiness. In a marriage where one is not needed, happiness is hard to find. Conversely, whether married or not, as long as you feel needed, you can experience happiness. Whether it’s because of wealth, beauty, your position, or power, that feeling of being needed can generate a sense of happiness. Power is not for personal enjoyment, but because it brings a sense of being needed. The secretion of serotonin can uplift our mood and enhance this feeling. Even the wealthy can feel happy when they choose not to buy anything while shopping—because having the ability to choose not to buy is itself a sense of being needed. Therefore, as long as we feel we have the resources and ability to do what we are good at, we will feel useful, and this is the happiness that comes from the sense of being needed.

Cultivating a Sense of Meaning In our lives, we can feel that enjoyable, uplifting force

Our interests, pursuits, and motivations take shape through continuous experiences and discoveries in our everyday life. The sense of meaning may not necessarily stem from carefully considered plans, political stances, or religious beliefs, but from the continual experiences of spirituality, insight, emotions, and virtues in our daily life. The appreciation of nature, whether it’s mountains, rivers, or the changing clouds, can inspire our sense of meaning.

Watching the clouds rolling by, the tides ebbing and flowing, the flowers blooming and withering, each of us can draw philosophical life lessons and insights—these are the meanings that life bestows upon us. With such wisdom and composure in observing the world, our understanding of the surrounding world and people is bound to be valuable and beneficial.

On the journey of searching for life’s meaning, encountering obstacles or confusion does not mean our journey ends there; instead, it’s time to open a book. Books are important channels to know, understand, and discover the world; they are like a pair of helpers when we explore meaning.

Choosing to read quality books and reflecting on various life issues can easily spark our pursuit and feeling of meaning. The entire process itself is a valuable journey of exploring meaning.