Dear audience, today we focus on how to lighten the load of life and seek more freedom and ease. A knowledge disseminator named Fan Deng, with his own experience and deep thinking, led us to explore the issue of inner constraints, emphasizing the achievement of life freedom through deepening cognition.
In modern society, we seem to hover between so-called freedom and bondage. Like the koans in Zen Buddhism, we often limit ourselves without knowing why. To unlock this kind of psychological shackles, we must continuously learn, read, and enhance our self-awareness.
Fan Deng’s explanation revolves around four core sections: self-cultivation, managing family, entrepreneurship, and understanding the world. Regarding self-cultivation, he specifically talked about how to improve personal inner quality and learn the skills and knowledge needed by the external world.
“Against Time Management” is the book he particularly recommended, which breaks the traditional time management model, proposing a new concept of life integration. He criticized the traditional thinking that separates work and life and advocates finding joy in work; that we should not let ourselves be confined by time management to fleeting moments, but learn to maximize the stacking and utility of time.
In the binary opposition of work and life, we often lose the sense of belonging to both body and mind, living in anxiety about the future and nostalgia for the past. Through his sharing, we can see how to reassess life and find a harmonious unity between work and life, instead of treating them as mutually exclusive adversaries.
In short, Fan Deng’s sharing is not just the instillation of theory, but also the transmission of practical wisdom. From comprehending the deep meaning of Zen koans to redefining the concepts and values of time management, he teaches us how to find tranquility and freedom amidst a busy life.
Once, when I was invited to give a lecture in Xinjiang, I requested to bring along 8 people. This request might seem excessive but was actually based on a well-considered plan. I wanted to take four elderly family members, my sister, and my wife on a trip together, all willing to travel with me. While I was giving my lecture, I planned for them to enjoy the pleasure of traveling, culminating in a joyful gathering on the grassland. Therefore, on the Bayanbulak grassland, I didn’t just complete the recording of my book “Ten Minutes of Meditation,” but also realized a wonderful trip with my family.
Here, I practiced a lifestyle, that is, the stacking of time. You can do a live broadcast, record a book, admire the scenery, and at the same time, create beautiful moments with your family. All this, based on a passion for and tireless enjoyment of the work you do. To achieve this, people need to adjust their values and rebuild their perspective of life and work. There’s no need to segregate them, but rather, integrate them into one.
For those readers who do not understand my point of view, especially those hard-working wage earners who feel exhausted, I would like to ask you: Are you willing to continue living as you are now? Or, are you willing to try some new routes, opening up more possibilities?
In my other book “Ways to Become Better,” I liken life to a simple line. The secret to a good life lies in simplicity, like the horizon of life. The upper half of life’s line emphasizes humility and love, whereas the lower half pertains to pride and fear. The book states that when we act based on the motives from the upper half, our actions will be potent. However, if we act out of pride or fear, things often turn out less satisfactory.
Imagine parents, worried their children might fall behind, enrolling them in various classes—a kind of primal fear. Or when a subordinate makes the right decision, but you get angry because it doesn’t match your initial thoughts, out of pride or fear. These are manifestations of the lower state of the line. If you can return to a state of humility and love, you might find that the most brag-worthy thing in life is not how many books you’ve read, but how you nurture your children with love. My personal experience tells me that self-awareness is crucial. How can we be so sure our point of view is absolutely correct when in a disagreement with our children?
This book, with its simple line drawings, helps us recognize our situation—are we making decisions and expressing ourselves from a standpoint of humility and love, or are we in a state of fear and pride? This recognition is an effective tool for positive transformation.
And the core concept depicted in the book “Living Consciously” resonates with the philosophy of the Chinese thinker Wang Yangming’s study of the mind. It teaches us how to live each day more consciously and deliberately.
For example, a reader who is a mother really wanted to attend my talk, thinking it was crucial. She even tried to give her child the opportunity to experience it live. When the child started to cry, she certainly had a voice in her head urging her to quickly soothe the crying.
Where do these internal dialogues come from? They are not actually her own true voice but a “crazy roommate” in her brain. This so-called “crazy roommate” talks to you under different circumstances, such as when they scold you for not doing well enough today, or criticize you for your failures in some areas.
The real self is you, who listens to these words. But sometimes, we may mistakenly regard this “crazy roommate’s” voice as the true self. These voices could stem from childhood experiences, family environments, or relationships with parents, and they repeat themselves until you’re led by them.
Regarding the issue of reading memory, a reader asked me how I manage to remember and apply what I read. I replied that our memories are not that different. The reason I remember is that I read repeatedly; the reason you feel you can’t remember might just be because you don’t read enough. Additionally, you might overlook what you do remember and instead criticize yourself too much.
We tend to criticize ourselves and also love to criticize others, as if our brains have a dedicated “madman” for blame. Criticism seems to have become our way of caring for and treating others. All the criticism, intimidation, and threats can’t prevent you from sitting here calmly right now. Going back to basics—walking, staying, sitting, lying—you will find that you can feel at ease, no matter where you are.
As Wang Yangming said, when you find your inner conscience, you will see that every person is a saint. Those who perform poorly are often overshadowed by the loud “madman” voice inside, which conceals their true self. Even the book “Living Sober” by a foreign author conveys the wisdom of Eastern philosophy, teaching us to live in the moment without becoming angry.
Your brain has two main functions: one is to criticize and pick faults, the other is to execute and focus on the present. The core idea of the book is to reduce the fault-finding part of the brain, allowing the mind to be clear, happy, and concentrated on the present.
When facing stress, try to gently rub your fingertips and feel your own fingerprints, focusing on this action without thinking about anything else. In doing so, you will find that the external world can no longer disturb the peace within you.
“Ten Minute Meditation” is a practical book that teaches readers how to meditate simply and effectively. It moves beyond religious frameworks to delve more into the realm of brain science. Meditation helps the brain to stay alert, calm, and rational, thereby promoting the secretion of neurotransmitters like endorphins and serotonin. These substances play a significant role in enhancing brain health, maintaining calmness, and rational thinking.
Many people easily argue with others in social interactions, often due to high levels of adrenaline in their bodies and a constant state of stress. Some people experience depression, often feeling sad and crying, which may be due to high cortisol levels in the brain. Cortisol not only increases psychological stress but also affects the function of the hippocampus, an important part of memory. Excessive cortisol can lead to memory decline, and constantly blaming children can also affect the development of their memory.
“Ten Minute Meditation” can help us stabilize the brain’s state from the root, restoring health and reason. There’s a phrase in the book: “When the airplane breaks through the clouds, the blue sky becomes clear.” When we’re ready to rest and calm down, thoughts may flood like a deluge, but the tranquility is actually always there. We just need to observe these thoughts passing by like a child counting cars on the roadside, and the brain will naturally become healthier.
If you can’t sleep in the dead of night, this book offers an important solution, a method that helped me say goodbye to insomnia. For sleeplessness, the book suggests a countdown method, from 2000 to 0, rather than traditional counting sheep. Counting backwards requires concentration to avoid mistakes while also accepting the fact that you may not sleep tonight. Based on personal experience, usually by the time you count to around 1800, you can naturally fall asleep. The principle behind this is “paradoxical intention,” in other words, the harder you try to stay awake to count, the easier it is to fall asleep.
Another surprising strategy for falling asleep is to choose a book that is difficult to read. When you focus too hard on understanding its profound content, your brain becomes tired, leading you to unconsciously enter dreamland. Therefore, choosing some complex topics to read at the right time may also serve as another effective way to summon sleep.
In university life, courses such as higher mathematics and probability statistics are the ones most likely to make one feel drowsy, especially when the content becomes extraordinarily complex. This drowsiness often serves as an ironic form of compensation. Of course, if the teacher’s lecture is dull, you might not actually fall asleep but choose to sneak a peek at your phone or read a novel, because your attention is not on the class at all, and attentive listening might ironically make it easier to doze off.
Next, let’s talk about a book called “The Demon of Noon.” Many people may have an overly simplistic understanding of depression. I have a friend who was diagnosed with depression, and when his family found out, they wrongly believed that a person with depression doesn’t need medication, but just needs to be taken out for fun or kept in a happy mood to be cured. The author of “The Demon of Noon,” who suffers from bipolar disorder and depression and has attempted suicide multiple times, incorporates his experiences and treatment process into this book, making it worth reading for those interested.
The book reveals an important truth: Severe depression isn’t just about feeling down; it can lead to loss of daily function, like suddenly being unable to tie shoelaces, use cutlery normally, take a bath, or even walk becoming challenges. The medical community still does not have a perfect answer to the onset of depression. A heartbreaking message I read in the book mentioned how the sender couldn’t walk home after school for a period of time during junior high and had to sit by the rice fields for a long time before slowly making it back home. At the time, the family thought it was deliberate mischief, but in hindsight, it may have been a symptom of depression.
When your friends have depression, especially severe depression, don’t feed them motivational clichés, telling them, “Hang in there, you’re the best,” or “I always believe in you.” Instead, understand their inner struggles, accompany them to the hospital, listen to professional doctors’ advice, and make sure they take their medication as prescribed.
Many people have reservations about taking medication, feeling that drugs carry risks. Recently, while participating in a health program, I learned that there are as many as 270 million people with hypertension in our country, and hypertension is closely related to diseases such as heart disease, kidney disease, liver disease, and diabetes. However, after consulting with doctors, I was told that as long as one takes the prescribed amount of medication, it’s not a big problem. Yet, the fact is that many Western doctors don’t tell you that medicine has no side effects. No responsible pharmaceutical company will tell you that medicines are risk-free, but they will inform you of the possible side effects based on scientific standards and have tried to minimize the risks as much as possible. Our brains are more receptive to rhyming expressions, such as “all medicine has a poisonous side,” subtly affecting our judgment, making us fear taking medicine and overlooking the potential and value of drugs. Therefore, an attitude of hiding diseases and shunning doctors has led many hypertension patients to eventually pay with their lives. Through various platforms and channels, we hope to convey more scientific medical knowledge to those in need.
When discussing mental health and drug therapy, experts often emphasize the importance of sharing and communication, and they do not recommend blindly believing the saying “All drugs carry a poison.” In fact, compared to the risk of sudden death, the side effects of some drugs can be negligible. In dealing with depression, some people may delay the optimal timing for treatment due to fear of taking drugs, especially psychiatric drugs, resulting in unnecessary tragedy. In today’s society, such examples can often be seen around us.
When reading the book “The Human Experiment,” one can understand the core idea that excessive external incentives may weaken a person’s intrinsic motivation. Combining related studies in social psychology and experimental psychology, we know that many rules around us should not be blindly accepted; they must be based on rigorous experiments. Experimental psychology requires control groups, controlled variables to ensure that the conclusions drawn are persuasive.
Regarding the issue of children’s lack of motivation to learn, in fact, if the external motivation provided by parents is too strong, it will be hard for children to appreciate the joy of learning and doing homework itself. If parents can let go appropriately and let children take responsibility for their own lives and manage their own time, the children’s intrinsic motivation will gradually emerge.
In family education, if parents play a too dominant role, such as always intervening immediately when children are in conflict, this might weaken their innate ability to solve problems and reconcile conflicts. In contrast, if children have the opportunity to handle conflicts themselves, they may gain a better understanding of themselves and realize that it is possible to be happy without fighting, helping them to find the true essence of love in their hearts.
In view of the above discussions on family and education, we come across the book “The Gardener and the Carpenter,” which vividly describes the role of family members in the growth process of children through the metaphor of gardeners and carpenters. We usually hope to be like a careful gardener rather than a controlling carpenter, so that the child can receive more harmonious guidance and support during growth.
Furthermore, the book presents an interesting analogy: “The fox is more like the crow, while the hedgehog is more like the sparrow,” the developmental psychology principle implied here is worth our deep reflection.
Speaking of wisdom, one usually thinks of excellent representatives, such as the fox and the crow. Although they are different species, they have similarities. The fox is famous for its cunning, and the crow is equally smart. They can use tools, such as stones, to achieve their goals. Another common characteristic is that they both have a longer period of youth, which allows them to have developed brains, making them smarter and capable of using tools to solve problems.
Similarly, the decades of childhood in humans is the golden age for the development of intelligence and personality. Play and exploration during this time are crucial for brain development. One of the key understandings is that for children, developing curiosity, creativity, and variability is more important than simply the ability to focus. Variability means an open mind, which gives children’s brains endless possibilities.
If children are cultivated from an early age to only mechanically execute tasks, gradually losing open-mindedness, then when they leave school and enter society, faced with the reality that there isn’t a set of existing problems waiting to be solved, they are likely to feel confused and lost. Over-focusing, lacking innovation, and explorative challenges become issues faced by this generation of young people. Therefore, parents and educators should tap into and encourage children’s creativity and adaptability, rather than depleting their concentration excessively.
The way children are perceived will be reflected in their growth and self-identity. The expectations and beliefs of parents can become long-term self-suggestions for children. Positive expectations can stimulate children’s motivation and creativity, while anxious words may have the opposite effect.
The book “Good Love” shows us how to understand the emotions and issues deep inside our hearts. By analyzing emotions such as anger, dissatisfaction, emphasis on money and appearance, it can help us realize that these issues stem from within, and then project onto the external world and interpersonal relationships. Resolving internal issues is a crucial step in improving personal relationships.
To succeed in love, the key lies in self-improvement first. This means repairing relationships with parents and deeply reflecting on childhood experiences and self-worth. By broadening our reading and taking positive actions to improve ourselves, we can achieve a happier love life. If someone has a poor quality of life, they will often attract a partner at the same level. Therefore, we should not expect others to redeem us; only through self-improvement can we welcome true happiness. Such wisdom is not just for singles, but for all those who hope for inner growth.
Another book worth recommending is about how to cultivate self-control in children in the digital age. Many parents have sought my help when their children are addicted to mobile phones and they feel helpless. This book provides an answer, pointing out that parenting should not be limited to controlling a child’s behavior but should focus on their brain development. A child’s growth cannot rely on a parent’s substitute thinking; otherwise, their brains will only be used for playing games, depriving them of the ability to self-control and the opportunity to build self-esteem. Our goal should be to teach children to coexist harmoniously with digital devices and to control their own thinking.
Once we have a harmonious family environment, to make a living, we need to earn money. The book “The Latte Factor” may seem simple in content—telling you that saving money from one less cup of latte can accumulate significant savings—but it has sparked a big response. This is because many young people do not understand the power of compound interest and savings, and are not aware of Parkinson’s Law, which suggests that financial status can affect people’s consumption behavior. Understanding this effect means we need to make behavioral changes, learn to control our desire for consumption, and thereby accumulate from small amounts—which is the foundation of earning money.
In terms of entrepreneurship, the book “Scientific Advertising” provides profound insights. The author, Claude Hopkins, was a pioneer in the advertising industry, and his ideas influenced David Ogilvy, known as the “pope of advertising.” From reading Ogilvy’s works, I was recommended to read Hopkins’ book, and from it, I learned that the ability to make money lies in empathy and the profound understanding of others. In other words, whether you can consider issues from other people’s perspectives, rather than only focusing on your own feelings, that is the key to successful entrepreneurship.
Claude Hopkins tells us that when writing advertisements, one must break the so-called “curse of knowledge.” That is, what you may think is common knowledge may not actually be understood by many. One of the most famous examples is the production process of Schlitz beer, which involves high-temperature pure oxygen treatment to ensure the beer’s refreshing taste. Even though the brand initially believed this fact was not suitable for advertising promotion—after all, all breweries use the same production process—the consumers were unaware of this. Therefore, when an unknown detail is revealed in advertising, customers have an epiphany. This directly relates to learning how to make money, expressive ability, and the art of writing advertisements.
Cai Lei, a former vice president at JD.com and a finance expert, has always been known for his firmness and tenacity. When he was unfortunately diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, a condition that makes many people despair, almost everyone around him believed it was an irreversible sentence. In the eyes of those with this condition, a cancer diagnosis almost seems like a cause for celebration, because compared to ALS, cancer still carries a glimmer of hope. However, Cai Lei chose to face the challenge and set up the fighting slogan “to fight to the last bullet.” In the face of the challenge from the disease and fate, Cai Lei, together with his partner, raised up to 100 million RMB through live-streaming sales to fight the disease.
In terms of entrepreneurship, we know well that it is a complex process that cannot be learned from just a few books. It is arduous and complicated, requires continuous iteration, is often accompanied by great uncertainties, and necessitates excellent luck. Therefore, continuous learning is an indispensable quality for entrepreneurs.
The next level we pursue is “knowing the world”—aiming to expand our horizons. By reading history, philosophy, and natural science, we enlighten our thoughts and broaden our perspectives. I am often asked whether the pressure of my life and entrepreneurship is enormous, and my answer is always comparatively relaxed: “Because I like to read ancient history.” Reading historical books has given me a different frame of reference that is broader and deeper. When you understand history, you can appreciate the difficulty of our modern lifestyle, thereby cherishing and enjoying this era of peace and prosperity even more.
I recommend a book called “Longitude and Latitude of China”. I once flew to the United States specifically to see its author, Mr. Xu Zhuoyun, and drove 3,000 kilometers to visit him. Although Mr. Xu could not read printed books due to old age and disability, his wisdom and passion were not extinguished. Through electronic documents, he could still read books and peruse materials. We can see that in “Longitude and Latitude of China,” even after reaching his nineties, Mr. Xu still contributes new academic perspectives and research breakthroughs. He divides China into three major regions: the Central Plains core area, the buffer zone between the Yellow River and the Huai River, and the coastal area south of the Huai River. This is his innovative research result using modern scientific methods, such as ice-core analysis, to reveal ancient weather conditions.
Digging deep into ancient historical weather conditions can reveal the reasons why the Xiongnu crossed the famous Heihe-Tengchong Line to participate in wars. It is evident that this was largely due to the reduction in rainfall in their own regions. Therefore, studying history is like investigating a case, filled with the pleasure of discovery and insight. This is why we revere the book written by an author who is 93 years old.
In discussing “The Battle of Anqing,” part of the reason the book attracts readers is the author’s candid introduction—he portrays Zeng Guofan as a “time traveler” with modern thoughts, who also brought contemporary thinking to battles. During his time as an official in the capital, Zeng Guofan studied textual research, an ancient discipline close to modern science, emphasizing critical thinking and solid evidence to support each assertion. It was these ideas that helped Zeng Guofan achieve his ultimate victory.
At first, Zeng Guofan was not skilled in the art of war. He relied only on “The Art of War” by Sun Tzu and “Qi Jiguang’s Military Methods” and suffered repeated defeats, even almost losing his life in the river three times. However, in desperate situations, Zeng Guofan realized that he could not blindly follow the books. He began to replay, summarize, and adjust tactics for each battle, with each fight being different, finally forming the strategy of “building strong fortifications and fighting protracted wars.” This shows once again that critical thinking is crucial in any era.
We should encourage both children and adults to possess critical thinking, to carefully reflect on the conclusions in their minds. The aim of critical thinking is not to question everything or criticize others but to hold a cautious attitude towards one’s own conclusions. Mencius said, “To believe in everything in the books is worse than having no books at all.” In truth, Mencius himself was a person who loved reading. What this statement expresses is a deep cognition, reminding us to be wary of blind faith.
What we are actually blindly faithful to are the conclusions that we form in our hearts after reading. We often think that we have grasped the wisdom of the books and mastered knowledge, but it is precisely such conclusions that make us complacent. Therefore, those who truly understand reading must be more careful as they learn more, more humble as they read more, constantly aware that there is more to learn, and may not fully understand the true meaning the author wants to convey. Language has its inherent limitations, hence encouraging extensive reading is to broaden cognition, not to stop reading.
In our journey to “understand the world,” we will come across more and more books, such as those discussing the tradition of Chinese Confucianism in “Three Thousand Years of Confucianism” and depicting cosmic spectacles in “Wonders.” People pursue an understanding of the universe because, as an astronaut once described to me: “Fan Deng, you have to experience a journey above the clouds.” Standing above space, looking back at the blue little planet that hangs like a faint teardrop in the void, anyone would feel a deep love for all the creatures on Earth.
Therefore, broadening our horizons and reading different kinds of books can widely change our inner world and, consequently, our views on life, values, and the universe. Only when you have experienced change will your life change accordingly. As the ancient saying goes: “From the Son of Heaven down to the common people, all must regard self-cultivation as the root,” conveying such a concept.
Lastly, I hope that everyone can feel the power of books and thus be willing to pick up a book and step into their own world of reading.
Through reading, we can unshackle our lives and lighten the load on our souls.
