Recently, news of domestic violence has frequently become a hot topic of discussion. While the public strongly condemns domestic violence, people can’t help but wonder why some women choose to stay, even when they have enough economic ability and social independence, in the face of such reprehensible behavior. This situation reminds me of a heartbreaking piece of news: a case where a woman born into an affluent family was killed by domestic violence.
This incident happened on the night of August 18, 2016, when a woman named Bi Xixi was beaten by her foreign boyfriend, Jordan, a man skilled in karate with a black belt. The following day, on August 19, 2016, Bi Xixi died from her severe injuries. Initially, the case did not attract widespread attention until it went to court for trial a year later, when it began to stimulate public discourse.
The rising attention to this case was partly due to the implementation of China’s Anti-Domestic Violence Law in 2016, and partly because of the victim’s unique background, which added complexity and dramatic elements to the story. In court, Bi Xixi’s brother, Bi Zexun, disclosed that if not for this tragedy, his sister would have been responsible for managing the family’s company, which had assets worth over a hundred million. The company confirmed to be Runheng Group, and Bi Xixi was the daughter of the group’s owner, Bi Guoxiang. Bi Guoxiang was more widely known than his enterprise because he used to work as the president of Yurun Group and had competed with Shuanghui Group for market share in the ham sausage industry.
Despite repeated denials by staff at the time that Bi Xixi was the daughter of Bi Guoxiang, it is undeniable that Bi Xixi did indeed come from a wealthy family. She went to study in Oxford at the age of 15, later pursued a master’s in international business at Cardiff University, and further went to study French in France. Bi Xixi was not only optimistic and full of zest for life but also interested in topics related to “love” and “weight loss,” much like her peers.
In her romantic life, Bi Xixi experienced several relationships. In 2009, she met an Argentine boyfriend, and in 2011, she had a passionate relationship with a British man who had a special fondness for Chinese culture. However, tragically, in April 2015, she met a local boy named Jordan Matthews, which ultimately led her to an irrevocable tragedy. Although Jordan was an unsuccessful karate black belt competitor, Bi Xixi fell deeply in love with him and even offered him financial aid, including paying for rent, utility bills, and giving him a car.
On social media, Bi Xixi posted a photo with Jordan on May 2, 2015, announcing their relationship. In the picture, Bi Xixi wore Mickey Mouse ears and had a beaming smile. Later, on May 28, she uploaded another photo kissing Jordan while wearing sunglasses. However, behind this seemingly beautiful relationship lay an unknown secret—Bi Xixi’s personal life and mental state were being continuously eroded. Jordan had violent tendencies and an extreme desire for control; he often forced Bi Xixi to skip classes for dates with him, resorting to violence whenever he faced resistance.
July 2015, Bi Sixi was supposed to welcome a new stage in her graduate career, but she chose to take a leave of absence, due to her boyfriend Jordan. In November of the same year, they started living together, yet Bi Sixi’s screams and cries became a daily routine in the apartment. Her mentor also noticed the issues, as the seemingly optimistic student started showing signs of mental distress. Even so, Bi Sixi never considered ending the relationship, instead, she became more deeply entangled.
By April 2016, while visiting her family in China, Bi Sixi received messages from Jordan questioning her loyalty. She immediately defended herself, stating she was innocent and had been with her family the entire time. However, Jordan continued to doubt her, applying mental pressure and insulting her, claiming she was not worthy of his efforts. Meanwhile, Bi Sixi just kept expressing her love for him repeatedly.
In August of the same year, Bi Sixi, once battered by Jordan, went to London to visit friends, trying to conceal her bruises with heavy makeup. Her friend expressed deep concern, but ultimately, Bi Sixi chose to return to Jordan. Neighbors witnessed Bi Sixi being forcefully dragged back to the apartment by Jordan, and that night, the same noises of arguments and physical altercations filled the air. Soon after, as a result of a neighbor’s call to the police, authorities found that Bi Sixi had permanently stopped breathing following a violent assault. A forensic examination revealed over 41 wounds on her body, including old scars.
In light of this tragedy, Jordan argued that he had planned to marry Bi Sixi, but suspicion arose from a message on a dating app called Tinder. He insisted he was not wholly to blame and, despite his violent treatment of Bi Sixi, claimed to still love her deeply. Ultimately, the investigation revealed that Bi Sixi had never used Tinder and had not been in contact with anyone else. The jury found Jordan guilty of murder, and the court sentenced him to life imprisonment with a minimum term of 18 years.
The case reflects not just an individual tragedy but also the complex attitudes of society towards domestic violence and racial prejudice. Although the incident happened 7 years ago, the public’s response remains sigh-worthy, focusing not only on Bi Sixi’s family background but also criticizing her decision to choose a foreign boyfriend. Many people’s understanding of domestic violence remains confined to the traditional notion of “vulnerable women,” ignoring the variety of complex situations one might face. The words of a former employee of Yu Run may reveal some reasons, mentioning, “Bi (Guoxiang) is a person of good character, very capable, and that generation of entrepreneurs is very committed to their work, hence making many sacrifices in other aspects.”
The sacrifice is the luxury and material wealth, but emotionally it’s exceptionally barren. Family wealth meant she never experienced the dark side of human nature, and also proved that material abundance cannot substitute the genuine need for emotional connection. She had talent and outstanding achievements; in her childhood, her stellar performance garnered her the synonym for “love,” but as she grew older, academic success was no longer enough to measure everything.
At 15, she left home to live in a foreign country alone, surrounded by a completely strange environment, where direct and genuine love was what she needed. Thus, she immersed herself in numerous relationships. Unfortunately, these romances always ended in failure, which exacerbated her feelings of inferiority and even made her doubt whether she was unworthy of a decent partner. In the face of money, she felt empowered, believing it could help her control love and make her man need and love her more.
This mindset was exactly what her partner expected. He pushed her away through verbal insults and physical disputes. When she began to doubt and deny herself, he would pull her back with apologies and positive affirmations, communicating an attitude of “I love you despite your imperfections.” It was as if without his mercy, she would be the world’s lonely and pitiful soul. In such a relationship, she increasingly lacked the courage to leave her partner.
This same scenario plays out among many wealthy women who lack love. Under the shadow of violence, ‘love’ gradually fades, but if love becomes the dominating force, violence has nowhere to hide. Take the case reported by the media one year, where a woman named Xiaomin, a company executive earning two million a year, still suffered from domestic violence daily. Even with severe injuries, she never reported to the police or sought medical help but chose to heal on her own.
In a marriage of 10 years, she endured domestic violence. Faced with the lawyer’s questions, she cited pride, love, and children as her reasons. Such justifications seem inconceivable, as her high income could seemingly afford her any alternatives. But when one loses trust in what’s beautiful, she becomes incapable of making choices. The more inferior one feels, the more one relies on satisfying others to maintain a sense of worth.
Material possessions can be traded for anything, except for what is truly beautiful. If one does not cherish oneself, how can one expect respect from others? However, it is not entirely their own fault. Also, the question of “why wealthy women are more susceptible to domestic violence” should not hold. Assuming that less affluent women have no choice but to endure domestic violence implies accepting the notion that women of lower economic status deserve to suffer and tolerate it.
We know that domestic violence is just that, unrelated to other factors. Even if related, women who play the role of full-time housewives also create another form of economic value. They too have dignity and deserve respect. Whether full-time or part-time, many women have almost no guarantee of rights protection, and encounters with domestic violence are often more a matter of unfortunate ‘luck’.
In today’s society, women’s financial independence can often be a double-edged sword—being criticized for earning less than the partner, while out-earning him can unsettle his ego. This dilemma is deeply rooted in systemic gender bias, as Beauvoir said, regardless of whether women are independent, the shackles of fate are always hard to shake off.
There seems to be no simple answer to this problem. Specifically for the extreme event of domestic violence, the only advice might still be cliché: gather concrete evidence and quickly escape this unhealthy environment. It should be known that domestic violence incidents should have been stopped from the first occurrence because they tend to happen countless times thereafter.
Emphasizing the importance of self-worth, women should understand that it is natural to desire protection and safety, but it is often these so-called “protectors” who bring more storms. In true love, there should be no sacrifice of self-worth and no demeaning pleasantry, but a mutual effort and commitment from both sides.
In the end, any good relationship should be based on self-love and respect—indispensable elements for maintaining one’s happiness.
